Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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