well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
