We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
