I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
