i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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