That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
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Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
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Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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