You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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