Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
