if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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