I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
