as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
