the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
