i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
