just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
