Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
