we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
