Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
