Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
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you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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