There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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