I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
