I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
