What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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