how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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