i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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