My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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