We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
