Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
