The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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