I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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