I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
