Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
