yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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