just come out here and I will go home with you...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize