is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
