then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
