if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
