my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
