You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
