I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
