you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
