I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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