it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
