I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
