Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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