turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize