I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Actions speak louder than pants.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
