I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
