it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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