My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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