my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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