That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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