just tell him i said nine months
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
