help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize