you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
