I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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