I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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