Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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