I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
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The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
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Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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