3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I've blown a few things in my day
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Im part way to drunk.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
