i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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