His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
