i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
try to milk me bitch
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize