I bet he comes in French.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
