How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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