Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
