i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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