Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
