she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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