When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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