There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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