pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize