FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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