allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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