P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
